What's in a Name?

I have never been a fan of small talk. I find it pointless. Not to be confused with "schmoozing," sucking up to people for business reasons over a cocktail can reap amazing benefits. I'm referring to the mindless discussions on the weather. Filling silence for the mere fact of doing so is pointless. Furthermore, chances are, I will not be seeing said individual again. What they had for breakfast is about as useful to me as remembering high school trigonometry.


The greatest of my pet peeves are

• how much someone's clothing costs (a compliment does not equal asking the price tag, offering this information up is simply poor form)


• telling me to smile in passing. People aren't made to perma smile. Please don't ask me to sit and grin, it's creepy


• The origin and spelling of my name

The last of these might be the worst. I didn't choose my name, nor the spelling. I have no idea where it came from. What is the point in knowing why it's spelled with a "C" not a "K" or whether there is an "O" somewhere? After this conversation, what use is this knowledge? That someone's sister-in-law's mother's name is similar to mine, doesn't really spark my interest.

Then there is my last name. Let's talk about it being Dutch... then what? An in depth topic of the Netherlands? Our culture? That I resemble the typical blonde blue-eyed stereotype to a "T?" The best is when the person inquiring has no idea what/ where Holland is. I get secret pleasure out of hearing their response about their interest in someday going to Belgium or Switzerland. I'll never be the one to correct them.

Small talk is almost painful enough for me to avoid elevators, airplanes, and Starbucks lines all together. Unfortunately, this would mean being stuck in Austin caffeine free.