Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Carina... errr Chelsea

It's finally here! The much anticipated sophomore publication for Chelsea Handler Are You There Vodka? It's Me Chelsea. I can't wait to hit up B&N this weekend for a copy (In the heart of my book recycling vow, I promise to pass this new book on to many people). The book's release date was Tuesday April 22nd ...I have been counting down for months now. If anyone is looking for a quick read that's wildly entertaining, go buy it now!

Chelsea's first book, My Horizontal Life was something I just happened upon about a year ago. It was part of a buy 3 books get one free type of deal. If we're being completely honest, it had a cute cover too. Yes, I do judge that way.

I must have finished the book in no more than two days and promptly lent it/ recommended it to every female I know (perhaps a few guys too). The book is a compilation of vignettes recounting her experiences with men and being single. The stories are just as outrageous as they can be relatable (we've all had that "you're not going to believe this" experience at one point).

I've posted this on Myspace before, but since it fits with the theme (plus they're just plain funny), here are some of my favorite quotes from her first book:

"The thought of giving up alcohol crossed my mind too, but then I was soon reminded of the promises to Ketel One, Grey Goose, and other top shelf vodkas I had made in my early twenties. Never turn your back on someone who has asked nothing in return."

"I went out with a guy who once told me I didn't need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, "I'm drinking so that you're more fun to be around."

"Men don't realize that if we're sleeping with them on the first date, we're probably not interested in seeing them again either."

"This was to become a common theme of mine- dating men nicknamed after animals. Later on there was Chicken, and for a brief two-week absence of mind, there was a boy named Rooster. Chicken got his name because he could outrun anyone, and Rooster got his because he got up every morning at the crack of dawn. Needless to say, Chicken and Rooster were not related."

"I don't know what it is about accents that makes me want to get undressed and high-five myself"

"I fall a lot, but other than that I can pretty much control my liquor. Ivory's the kind of girl who gets drunk and immediately starts slurring. I have a lot of friends like that, and I think it's because it makes me look "more together.'"

"Our wife-beaters read, "We support Bush" and "Bush Rules." Since the party was after we had invaded Iraq, people thought we meant the president"

"I had to sit down with her and explain that AA was for quitters, and that 'alcoholic' was one ugly word. You spend one night in a women's prison and all of a sudden people want to label you"