You Know What That Dog Would Say to You Guys If It Could Speak?!

(It would say "Ruff!")

First of all, if you haven't jumped on the Portlandia bandwagon, do so immediately. The show is freakin' hilarious and eerily accurate. Just take a look at the outfits in this clip!

Last Sunday as I sat down to watch the weekly episode, I was completely caught off guard with a very familiar face guest starring in one of the skits:



Kudos to Trailer alum Jaime Langton (ok, she's also EWU and Alpha Phi alumni too, but let's stick to the most important details here) for landing a spot as the waitress on this very hilarious show. Can't wait to see what other opportunities come across your path, and my TV!

Pardon Moi

History was made on Trim last week, when an "anonymous" reader posted my very first bad comment. In a haste I deleted it, but thankfully not before snapping a screen shot of Negative Nancy's opinion. Instead of ignoring the matter, I decided the best way to address the situation is head on.

Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for identifying that I have female reproductive parts. This is indeed accurate. However, I am not imature (or did you mean to say immature?), simply opinionated. Here's the deal, this happens to be my personal blog. And while I acknowledge the blog is open to the public, the things I say here still get to reign as truth... if only in this minuscule fraction of the entire blogosphere. Second, none of my critiques hit a celebrity on a personal level... except for maybe Mariah (can you blame me?). I agree that Ms. Weaver is quite a classy lady. She simply fell prey to a bad team of stylists on this particular evening.

I stand by my statement, and encourage you to find better things to do with your time than post misspelled comments on blogs you don't enjoy reading. If I could give you a piece of advice, it's never classy to cuss in print, even if your slang comes from the UK.

And for the record, I still don't like Avatar.

The Golden Globes cont.

On the flip side of this little post are those that didn't make the well dressed honor roll at the Golden Globes:

Oh Kate, I didn't see you on the red carpet, so every time the camera came to you during the show I kept thinking how amazing you looked.


I apologize, but I'd like to retract those thoughts after seeing the full ensemble from the shoulders down. Your platforms, I'm afraid, look cheap, the dress length is awkward with with said shoes, and you generally look like you got lost on your way to Vegas, spotted a red carpet and thought "If I can't find my way back to the highway, I might as well get some mileage out of this dress" (not that I wouldn't do the same thing too, pretending all along that this is where I originally meant to go. Your secret's safe with me).

I'm actually a bit surprised these two turned up together for a public appearance. I can't really remember who was in a show or movie that was nominated, but the time tested "bring a parent as your date, because your significant other is 'on location'" is what I would have expected.

I suppose Fergie figured if she was going to let Josh Duhamel accompany her for the evening, she would avoid awkward interview questions by letting her eyebrows do all the talking.

This just in, she's still mad.

I can't quite place my finger on what Juliane Moore's dress reminds me of. Whatever it is, it isn't good... I lost my train of thought, or interest in figuring it out when I spotted her sandals.

What is it with shoes this year? Was Julianne wearing these as house slippers when she was getting ready and in a rush out the door forgot to put her heels on? I suppose if Mo'Nique can't find the time to shave, wearing summer sandals should be okay too. Heck, if those turn out to be too open in the rainy conditions, I have a pair of running shoes I'd be happy to lend Ms. Moore.

Amy Adams is in an unfortunate stage of pregnancy for the red carpet. She's past the first trimester where a good pair of Spanks will keep people guessing, and not quite to the point that a long, empire-waisted gown will leave everyone cooing over her curves and expectant glow.

In times where my body feels awkward (due to holiday weight gain, not babies), my solution is usually a bold hairstyle and more makeup. If nothing else, it will deter attention from my midsection where I tend to keep my weight.

I believe, in this case, my advice would have helped Amy tremendously; preventing her from looking, well, just plain dowdy. (Kudos for the heels though)

Tina's dress is a tricky critique for me. Some of you may remember, this very dress was featured in the Resort Trend post discussing the return of 50's styles. Now, I'm no modelizer. As a couture enthusiast, I would rather see it on "normal people" down the runway instead of a hungry 16 year old. So it pains me to say that the dress, which I love on a 6 foot bean pole, looks more like folded up newspaper on Tina Fey. It might have looked better with a colored petticoat, but mainly, the length is what bothers me most. It shortens Tina's body and is simply unflattering.

There's too much going on with Mickey Rourke and "date" to really get into it. My guess is they planned on joining Kate Hudson at Caesar's Palace for some craps and poker and got lost as well.

Oh Avatar... Not surprisingly, James Cameron spoke Na'Vi in his acceptance speech, at which point it was all I could do not to turn the TV off or tempt myself to jump off a cliff avoiding any future awards this movie is sure to receive. I shudder to think how many fanatics are devoting themselves to learning the entire made up language as we speak.

My strong opinion of the movie and its counter culture aside, Zoe Saldana's gown reminds me of the dress the mice made for Cinderella. A ribbon here, a ruffle there, what a lovely dress we'll make for Cinder-Zoe. Just wait 'til the stepsisters catch a glimpse of the dress and recognize their missing notions.

Sigourney Weaver's look is just Blah. While her peers are aging gracefully and looking better than ever (how breathtaking was Meryl Streep's speech?), she seems to have thrown in the towel. At a quick glance I almost mistook her for Amy Adams. Resembling a pregnant lady who I'm sure would rather stay home in sweats and ice cream is never a good thing.


Sandra Bullock made a joke that it was a good thing her dress was made of plastic, as it seemed to be the only one not affected by the rain. Funny, I thought the same thing when I wore a blue version back in 1999 for my Junior prom.



Saving the worst for last, in the words of Nick Byrd, "Helloooo Tittle Tattles." Mariah leaves nothing to the imagination with this dress. It seems, just like her crazy days on TRL, Mariah would really be more comfortable in a bikini top and cut off jeans. A well paid stylist talked her into the next best thing.

The Grammy's are just around the corner! Can't wait to see what art form Lady GaGa is planning on coming in.

The Golden Globes Disected

What a task to filter through all the gowns and photos from Sunday's Golden Globes.

My favorite thing about this year's show may just be the rain. In a sea of umbrellas protecting the celebrities and their borrowed couture, the wet conditions opened up a chance for Hollywood men to display some old fashioned charm. And in my charm school, Joshua Jackson gets an A+ . Look how dapper he is. Look how cute they are. He seems genuinely happy to stand back and expose himself to the unfriendly conditions while keeping Ms. Kruger nice and dry.

Aside from the impressive show of manners, let's talk trends. Nude and light pink dresses ruled the evening. This look is very tricky to pull of, but when done correctly is a total show stopper.

Nicole Kidman sets the bar high in this silk gown. I love when her hair is back to her natural shade of red, which helps to complete her all around look for the evening.

Jennifer Morrison's rendition of the neutral dress is perhaps toward the other end of the spectrum. Not only does the shade wash out her complexion, but the material reminds me of torn up tan pantyhose. Love the red lipstick and her finished coif though.

There's really not much to be said of Cher here. She appears to be the very definition of her own style, if not a slightly muted version.

Her presenting partner, on the other hand, did well in this baby pink gown. The color looks great on her and the variation of texture gives this dress enough detail to keep it interesting. Well done Xtina.

Since I couldn't make it to the evening's festivities, I gave my boyfriend George Clooney the go ahead to bring his "public" girlfriend, Elisabette Canalis to the Globes. Though I'm not a huge fan of the midriff cutouts, they're a bit too complex and distracting, she wears the dress well and looks quite lovely.

The intricate pleats in the bodice of Maggie Gyllenhaal's light pink gown is more my preference. They add detail without becoming the focus of the dress.

And finally wrapping up our neutral collection, Drew Barrymore chose an A-symmetrical number.

She looks amazing. The dress drapes well on her, the color is great, and I love the beading detail... I also just love her! She seems so happy to be there, as if it's not her millionth time walking the red carpet.

Kisses right back at you Drew.

Onto trend #2: Shoulder pads. I hate to love and love to hate this look. I do own a pair of shoulder pads myself, which come out on special occasions. In the case of both leading ladies who chose to wear them, they pulled it off fabulously.

I was obsessed with Anna Paquin's look. From the shoulder pads to the beads and sequins, she looks like a golden goddess here. She was really heading for front runner of best dressed of the night,

until I noticed her entire ensemble in a different photo and saw these:

Why the gladiator shoes?! The look is very Christian Dior circa SATC The Movie. While I applaud the fashion risk, it deters from the classic look she should have gone for. A strappy heel in gold or even a simple black shoe would have been a much better choice.

This leaves me to "award" Sofia Vergara as best dressed of the evening. She is so polished. Every detail flows with her overall look from her hair to her makeup and of course the gorgeous dress. I'm pretty obsessed with this gown. I might even love the back more than the front. Sofia wears it so well. She worked the train like a pro on the red carpet.

In keeping with the looks that I loved, Lea Michele did exactly what I would do if I were attending my first award show: Wear the biggest, fanciest, most intricate dress I could find. This gown practically took up the entire stage when Glee won its award. Although it may be more suited for the Oscars (and she is a television actress), it's a far better thing to be over dressed than under dressed. I think she looks lovely, managing to look classic and timeless... a feat not often achieved by new starlets.

Not even the weather can rain on this parade.

And speaking of fresh faces, Anna Kendrick really stepped it up and did Twilight proud. Not only did she costar with my boyfriend George this year in Up in the Air but she looked flawless on the red carpet. Take note Kristen Stewart, no Chuck Taylors here. Maybe if Edward saw her now, he'd reconsider his choice to be with Bella.

I know that many fashion experts disagree, but there is something about January Jones' look that I love. It's a new spin on a classic. I'm a fan of the unexpected headband and A-symmetrical shoulder. She sort of looks like a Barbie doll (in a good sense of course).

I half expected Jane Lynch to wear a bedazzled Adidas warm-up suit. Her choice was both refreshing and feminine. The color is unexpected but works very well for her. A nice change from her usual look as Sue Sylvester.

I've always had a thing for Ginnifer Goodwin. I imagine in another world we are great friends, staying up late, sharing secrets and braiding each other's hair. She, of course, would be the nice, sweet one finding the good in all people, while I'd be the snarky sarcastic friend with a cloud over my head.

For example, had she come to me one day and said, "I'm thinking of cutting my hair quite short." I would have responded that no one, other than Victoria Beckham, can pull of that haircut, and she doesn't want to risk looking like a boy.

On second thought, perhaps it's a good thing we do not know each other, because surprisingly, her hair is quite amazing and is possibly my favorite part of her whole look.

So there we have it, the trends and my favorite looks of the 67th Golden Globes. More to come on the looks and dresses I wish would have stayed home.

Yum

I've been on the hunt for a new purse for awhile now. Nothing seems to jump out at me. Until I saw this

In the words of Ms. Bradshaw: "Hello Lover!"

This Valentino number is a just gorgeous fraction of the entire collection. The leather? Feels as smooth as butta'
No wonder nothing compares. Sigh, I can dream right?

Next up is the recap of the Golden Globes. If you missed it, Glee won for Best Television Series - Musical or Comedy, which I am over the moon about. Mo'Nique who received the first award of the evening had, by far, the most endearing speech. Avatar won a couple awards, I choose to ignore this... I know that the entire nation has gone to see this "cutting edge movie." I for one, fell asleep during the film (and I know I'm not the only one)... more about that later.

Hooray for the start of award season! It's the most wonderful time of the year.

Youth is Wasted on the Young

Dear Brad Pitt,

Last night I rented your latest blockbuster, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. While I'll never complain about seeing you on screen, I regret to say the movie itself was a huge disappointment. Furthermore, I would greatly appreciate those three hours of my life back. Not only was this movie incredibly dull, the story, aside from a few Forrest Gump-esque vignettes, was completely predictable.

I won't go into the fact that the concept of this story was arguably my own... I have been talking about the idea of people aging backwards far longer than the script was in existence... what's done is done. More importantly, the majority of the make-up was pretty creepy, why your character was aging in reverse was never addressed (it couldn't have been from the backwards clock, it died a year before BB did, why didn't this character ever think to go to a doctor?), and what the Academy saw in this film that was Oscar worthy is completely beyond me. This movie was more acclaimed than Gran Torrino??

Please go back to doing what you do best, adopting kids with Angie, making Jen miserable, and filming Ocean's movies with my love, George Clooney.

Sincerely,

Carina

The Big Show: Oscars Reviewed

While I'm watching the President's Address to Congress, I thought I would multi-task and review Sunday night's spectacle we like the call the Oscars.

Instead of reviewing some good and bad, I thought I would hand out awards of my own.

Best Dressed: Marisa Tomei. I know everyone is giving this honor to Anne Hathaway. She looked nice, don't get me wrong, but Marisa literally took my breath away. The pleats! The silver! The intricacy! The pleats! I love love love!

Honorable Mention: Freida Pinto. How unique is her dress? One shoulder styles are huge right now, and she is naturally so beautiful. She didn't leave me breathless, but I am loving her look!



Best Continuous Portrayal of a Movie Character/ Steamiest Man on the Red Carpet: Robert Pattison. Let me see, pale skin, slight hint of under eye tiredness, and oh so handsome? I smell a conspiracy. Perhaps ol' Patti really is a vampire. In which case, he has permission to bite me anytime.

Best Effort of a Great Dress, but forgot to Finish the Look: Jessica Biel. Love the dress and the oversized bow. The skirt is a bit awkwardly narrow, and the black shoes (not pictured) I question, but mostly I have an issue with the hair. Did the hairspray go flat? Did she decide to skip her salon appt for some snuggle time with JT (in which case, she is completely off the hook). It's the Oscars! Spring for an updo, please.

Most Overrated: Brangelina (did anyone see the cold shoulder they gave to Ryan? NOBODY should diss the Seacrest). I am so over both of them. And glad Jennifer showed up looking quite lovely, and somehow talked John Mayer into shaving for the occasion. As a couple they looked much better. Angelina's dress is especially bothersome. It's blah and underwhelming. a black chiffon gown, something a high school senior could wear to prom. You're losing your edge Angie.

Most Graceful: Kate Winslet. I was hoping she would give the speech her son suggested ("Mum, just say, thank you everybody"). This woman is so elegant. I think I am such a fan because aside from her amazing talent, she is real and relatable, with just a bit more poise than I could ever hope for.


Most Surprising to Impress Me/ Cutest Couple: Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens. It looks like someone finally got Zac to lay off the self tanner a bit. And how cute was their musical number together?

Celeb Presenter I am SOOOO over: Miley Cyrus. What was she even doing there? And she actually said she hoped to return next year after her new movie came out because it goes much deeper than the show ever did. Errrr.... Your character Hannah Montana decides not to wear her wig for an hour an a half. Unless the tween population takes over the Academy somehow, Miley, that will NEVER NEVER warrant an Oscar nod. I'm not a fan of the dress either.

Best Badly Dressed (I have to get around to this somehow): Tilda Swinton could once again win this one, except that she is very verbal about her not wearing makeup and all around look. For that, I am letting her off the hook this time.

However, these two don't get off so lucky - Sofia Loren and Philip Seymore Hoffman.

There are no words for this angel cake monstrosity. Moving on....

Philip: Is a shower out of the question? A beanie? It's LA! It's not even cold outside. I also understand that tanning is so passe, but we pale people have to compensate somehow. My suggestion, talk to Zac.

And finally, the Most Missed Celeb not at the Oscars, my love George.

He was off meeting with President Obama and Vice President Biden about the crisis situation in Darfur, hoping to make this a priority in their plan for international aid.

When asked how he felt after his most recent return from Chad, he humbly responded by saying he could not comment on "his experience" when the crisis was so much bigger.

Sigh

Men Like You Are the Reason I Left Finland

I CANNOT wait for this movie to come out.

As most movies based on books go, I will probably prefer the novel. And I'm not sure if I will be able to transition from Rebecca Bloomwood being British to an American. However, the mass amount of eye candy couture makes me think this will be my chick flick choice of 2009.

And although I've never fought anyone for a pair of boots, I can't say I haven't hidden certain merchandise in the back rooms of the store from customers, or "loosely" threatened to wrestle one down when a $500 Dolce and Gabanna mini-skirt was mistakenly tagged at $64 ;)

Spotted: I Almost Forgot!

Oh it's been so long, and who would have thought it to happen in Austin?

Spotted: At local burrito joint "Freebirds," mega cyclist with an even bigger ego Lance Armstrong. If I had been caught dead with one of those cheap looking yellow bracelets, I probably would have rubber band shot it at him.

Ok, ok, it's clear I have my own very strong opinion about the lad.

Don't Vote

Because it takes celebrities to perusade America

"Ass, Cash or Grass, Nobody Eats for Free"

A time honored tradition for many urbanites is Sunday morning brunch. Meeting up with friends over diner coffee, fresh squeezed OJ and concoctions involving eggs and Tabasco has for years been the highlight of my week. LA is chocked full of great brunch destinations ranging from fine Florentine to skillet scramble. Swingers is by far my favorite. It's low on pretention, high on hipsters and tatted servers. Breakfast is served all day from morning to the wee hours of the night and their menu is mostly organic with many vegetarian and vegan selections (even better, you can't taste the nutrition!)

Spotted:

What can top this weekly treat? Sharing it with two A-listers of course! Amanda and I sat next to Christina Ricci and Jamie King. Keep an eye out for Jamie's new series with Jay Mohr Gary Unmarried. Christina is also targeting more television in the near future.

Unemployment Diary: Day I've Lost Track

What does one do with no job and a mission to fog the creepy crawlers out of the house? Hop in the car and drive to Los Angeles of course!

11 hours is a hop skip and a jump when it comes to deciding whether to spend the weekend in New Mexico or home in Hollywood. Yesterday Amanda and I hung up our Seafair hats (this year at least) for a "grown up" sailing adventure in Marina Del Rey.

We call this "The No Pants Dance"

Ahh, it feels so good to be home!