The Golden Globes cont.

On the flip side of this little post are those that didn't make the well dressed honor roll at the Golden Globes:

Oh Kate, I didn't see you on the red carpet, so every time the camera came to you during the show I kept thinking how amazing you looked.


I apologize, but I'd like to retract those thoughts after seeing the full ensemble from the shoulders down. Your platforms, I'm afraid, look cheap, the dress length is awkward with with said shoes, and you generally look like you got lost on your way to Vegas, spotted a red carpet and thought "If I can't find my way back to the highway, I might as well get some mileage out of this dress" (not that I wouldn't do the same thing too, pretending all along that this is where I originally meant to go. Your secret's safe with me).

I'm actually a bit surprised these two turned up together for a public appearance. I can't really remember who was in a show or movie that was nominated, but the time tested "bring a parent as your date, because your significant other is 'on location'" is what I would have expected.

I suppose Fergie figured if she was going to let Josh Duhamel accompany her for the evening, she would avoid awkward interview questions by letting her eyebrows do all the talking.

This just in, she's still mad.

I can't quite place my finger on what Juliane Moore's dress reminds me of. Whatever it is, it isn't good... I lost my train of thought, or interest in figuring it out when I spotted her sandals.

What is it with shoes this year? Was Julianne wearing these as house slippers when she was getting ready and in a rush out the door forgot to put her heels on? I suppose if Mo'Nique can't find the time to shave, wearing summer sandals should be okay too. Heck, if those turn out to be too open in the rainy conditions, I have a pair of running shoes I'd be happy to lend Ms. Moore.

Amy Adams is in an unfortunate stage of pregnancy for the red carpet. She's past the first trimester where a good pair of Spanks will keep people guessing, and not quite to the point that a long, empire-waisted gown will leave everyone cooing over her curves and expectant glow.

In times where my body feels awkward (due to holiday weight gain, not babies), my solution is usually a bold hairstyle and more makeup. If nothing else, it will deter attention from my midsection where I tend to keep my weight.

I believe, in this case, my advice would have helped Amy tremendously; preventing her from looking, well, just plain dowdy. (Kudos for the heels though)

Tina's dress is a tricky critique for me. Some of you may remember, this very dress was featured in the Resort Trend post discussing the return of 50's styles. Now, I'm no modelizer. As a couture enthusiast, I would rather see it on "normal people" down the runway instead of a hungry 16 year old. So it pains me to say that the dress, which I love on a 6 foot bean pole, looks more like folded up newspaper on Tina Fey. It might have looked better with a colored petticoat, but mainly, the length is what bothers me most. It shortens Tina's body and is simply unflattering.

There's too much going on with Mickey Rourke and "date" to really get into it. My guess is they planned on joining Kate Hudson at Caesar's Palace for some craps and poker and got lost as well.

Oh Avatar... Not surprisingly, James Cameron spoke Na'Vi in his acceptance speech, at which point it was all I could do not to turn the TV off or tempt myself to jump off a cliff avoiding any future awards this movie is sure to receive. I shudder to think how many fanatics are devoting themselves to learning the entire made up language as we speak.

My strong opinion of the movie and its counter culture aside, Zoe Saldana's gown reminds me of the dress the mice made for Cinderella. A ribbon here, a ruffle there, what a lovely dress we'll make for Cinder-Zoe. Just wait 'til the stepsisters catch a glimpse of the dress and recognize their missing notions.

Sigourney Weaver's look is just Blah. While her peers are aging gracefully and looking better than ever (how breathtaking was Meryl Streep's speech?), she seems to have thrown in the towel. At a quick glance I almost mistook her for Amy Adams. Resembling a pregnant lady who I'm sure would rather stay home in sweats and ice cream is never a good thing.


Sandra Bullock made a joke that it was a good thing her dress was made of plastic, as it seemed to be the only one not affected by the rain. Funny, I thought the same thing when I wore a blue version back in 1999 for my Junior prom.



Saving the worst for last, in the words of Nick Byrd, "Helloooo Tittle Tattles." Mariah leaves nothing to the imagination with this dress. It seems, just like her crazy days on TRL, Mariah would really be more comfortable in a bikini top and cut off jeans. A well paid stylist talked her into the next best thing.

The Grammy's are just around the corner! Can't wait to see what art form Lady GaGa is planning on coming in.